Rock Band, or… Everything But the Dancing

Title: Rock Band

Platform: Xbox 360

Developer: Harmonix

Publisher: MTV Games

Genre: Rhythm

It was only a matter of time. Guitar Hero made everyone a rock star. Karaoke games are all the rage for some people. DDR forced players to get up and “dance.” Two of these three ideas had to be combined at come point.

Sorry DDR.

Rock Band brings together guitar playing, karaoke, and drum-based rhythm games into one package. The guitar part plays like guitar hero. The karaoke is… well, you already know why most of us sing in the privacy of our own vehicles and/or showers. The drums…

Let me just say this: plastic drums and wooden sticks are very, very noisy. I dare not touch them anytime past sundown for fear of waking up the neighbors. My fiance was playing this game and I tell you: do NOT try to sleep anywhere within 100 yards. You WILL hear the drums in this game, and it’s really what detracts from the experience for me.

Other than that, buy this game. Play it alone. Play it with friends. Whatever floats your boat. It truly is a unique experience and the evolution of Guitar Hero.

Ratcher & Clank Future: ToD, or… Dancing Robots are Fun!

Title: Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction

Platform: Playstation 3

Developer: Insomniac Games

Publisher: SCEA

Genre: 3D Platformer

Setting: Futuristic Animated Fantasy. Everything in this game is highly stylized and cartoonish. I’ve only lightly played the previous games in the series, but it seems to be more of the same. Much prettier this time, though.

Mood: Comical. The entire game is very light-hearted, but it does tell a good, simple story without ever being overly serious.
The Challenge: Shoot / smash anything in sight. Collect what it drops. Buy new weapons. Upgrade your old weapons. Get to the next level. Repeat.

Memorable Moment: Clank getting knocked out by a spring-loaded boxing glove. A pure comic classic.

The Verdict: This game never gets too difficult, so it may not take a serious gamer very long to finish. Graphically, some are comparing this game to the Shrek movies, which I don’t think is entirely accurate but isn’t far off. Rent it if you just want a quick play-through, or buy it if you enjoy playing these kinds of games more than once. If you’re not into platformers or are =overloaded with the FPS games that are coming out right now, save this one for next year.

The Orange Box, or… Five Scoops Just Taste Too Good

Title: The Orange Box (Half Life 2, Team Fortress 2, Portal)

Platform: Xbox 360

Developer: Valve

Publisher: Electronic Arts

Genre: FPS

Setting: Near-Futuristic. Robots, aliens, gravity guns. All the things that we could see being invented or discovered relatively soon are here. Whether the world is being run by alien lifeforms who subjugated Earth (Half Life 2) or you’re playing a test subject for a new teleport gun (Portal), there’s no doubt that this setting is derived from modern Sci-Fi.

Mood: Tense / Comical. Half-Life (and expansions) sets a very tense, dramatic mood with its setting and constant threats from around the next corner. Portal and TF2, on the other hand, are more cartoonish and comical in respect.

The Challenge: Survive? Find the exit? Capture the flag? Lots of options here.

Memorable Moment: Portal is worth finishing just for the music in the closing credits. A robot’s final message to a rebellious slave never sounded so sweet.

The Verdict: Definitely worth a rental if you’ve played Half-Life 2 before or just want to experience Portal. If you’ve never touched any of the games in this box and are a fan of FPS of Half-Life and any of its spawns, it’s a must buy.

Bioshock, or… Just Stick It In Your Palm

Title: Bioshock

Platform: Xbox 360

Developer: Irrational Games

Publisher: 2K Games

Genre: Action RPG / FPS

Setting: Pulpy. An underwater city built to escape both Capitalism and Communism… complete with genetic manipulation gone horribly wrong. Think Sky Captain under the sea.

Mood: Somewhat of a mix between a “horror in the darkness” game (ala Doom 3) and a “look what I can do with these awesome toys” game (ala Half-Life 2).

The Challenge: Survive in this underwater playground for freaks, biological nightmares, and giant brutes in antique dive suits (and with demonic little girls that they protect).

Memorable Moment: Why the hell did my character just pick up a hypodermic needle and inject in into himself without any idea of what was in it? Followed closely by the “Toaster in the Tub” achievement.

The Verdict: Definitely one of the finer FPS/RPG hybrids to come out in a long time. Unique environment and many, many interesting encounters in the first few moments of the game. Lack of multiplayer makes this one rent-worthy.